What if you and your manager don’t get along?
Sometimes, the connection just isn’t there. You put in the effort, meet your deadlines, yet there always seems to be tension between you and your manager. A passive-aggressive email here, a raised eyebrow there, ... you feel like you're walking on eggshells. So, what can you do when you and your manager just don’t get along (anymore)? Here are 5 expert tips from Swiss recruitment specialist Robert Walters.
1. Diagnose the problem
Before you risk burnout or an outburst, take a moment to reflect on the situation. What exactly is causing friction? Is it a matter of communication, expectations, or personality? And – be honest! – could it also have something to do with you? If so, consider how you handle feedback, stress, or conflicts.
2. Learn your manager’s language
Some managers are direct, while others wrap their feedback in vague corporate jargon. Try to recognize your manager’s communication style and adapt to it. If your straightforward approach clashes with their more diplomatic one, softening your feedback might help.
3. Have a conversation (but without complaining)
You don’t have to become best friends, but a constructive conversation can work wonders.
Instead of saying, “You always…” or “You never listen…”, try: “I’ve noticed we sometimes miscommunicate. How can we improve this?” This keeps the discussion productive and prevents it from turning into a complaint session.
4. Create a ‘safe zone’
If direct communication doesn’t help, build a buffer. This could mean expanding your internal network, seeking support from colleagues, or even finding a mentor. Sometimes, simply venting to someone who understands can make a big difference.
5. Know when it’s time to move on
Sometimes, the chemistry just isn’t there, or not anymore... If you find yourself unhappy despite your best efforts, it may be time to consider other options. When looking for your next job, don’t just focus on the role and salary – pay attention to the company culture and how you feel about your potential manager. A better match increases the chances of feeling at home in your new job.
What should you avoid?
Letting frustrations build up without addressing them is a recipe for disaster. Avoid gossiping about your manager with colleagues, as it could come back to haunt you. Likewise, passive-aggressive behaviour – such as giving short responses or deliberately avoiding contact – only makes things worse.
And perhaps the biggest pitfall: quitting impulsively without a plan. Always think carefully about your next step!
More information
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